Welcome to Dream Interpretation for Dummies, where Dear Abby meets Native Americana. Come to the campfire, peer into the yawning grave, and take a dive into the collective subconscious… or maybe just explore some weird clown imagery. We’ll wait for you here.
Howdy Note: This dream has been very lightly edited. Everything you are about to read has already happened, is happening, will happen…
Another Howdy Note: I was on a podcast! How to Be Human kindly hosted me and it was lovely. If you’ve ever been curious about my ~inner life~ etc. you can listen here or wherever you get your audio pleasure! Now, into Dreamland we go.
Dear Howdy,
At least once per month, I dream that I’m in a car driving down a very long street in the town where I grew up. The car I’m driving has no details, but I can always vividly recall the sensation of sitting in the driver’s seat with my hands on the steering wheel and foot on a pedal. This particular street that I’m driving has many, many stoplights scattered along it. In my dream, when the light hits green, I push on the gas but the car doesn’t go. So, I push harder and harder until finally, the car explodes into action, sending me flying so fast towards the next stop light that I have to slam on the brakes. Except the brakes won’t work, so I have to push harder and harder, clenching my jaw and tightening my grip on the steering wheel as I wait for the car to slow. Eventually, it does, but I’m woefully over the line and sometimes even entirely in the intersection, looking at a mass of oncoming traffic. Then the light hits green, and I do this all over again.
This dream is incredibly stressful and memorable. I wake up with a sore jaw and racing heart rate. Is this a classic “I feel out of control in my life” kind of dream or is my inability to stop, go, or control my speed something more?
Your thoughts are much appreciated,
Lizzie
Dear Lizzie,
Thank you for the gift of your dream. I now live back in my hometown, in my late father’s house, and it is set down a long, winding dirt road. Sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly spry, I’ll walk to my mailbox, facing staghorn sumac and the occasional snake, but most of the time, I’ll just pop by when I’m ready to make the fifteen to twenty-minute trek into minor civilization. I mention this because, lately, I’ve been having a dream that I’m about ten years old and driving my mother Vickie’s old stick shift, all to check my mail. In the dream, I’m often screaming my fool head off because, well, who wouldn’t? And even though my feet reach the pedals (I’ve been taller than Vick since third grade), I have no idea how to drive. I’m just a particularly broad elementary schooler with a penchant for laying on the floor and listening to Stevie Nicks. All this to say, I feel particularly well-equipped to face your automobile problem.
So, hopefully obeying all traffic laws, into your dream we go: I’m initially struck that you find yourself in the town you grew up in. Sometimes, our dreams put us in backgrounds familiar so that all the other details around us become heightened. In this case, it works, at least to a point. There are a few details that don’t fit this logic, as the paint, make, and model of the car don’t really matter. Such is the way of our nebulous medium. All that matters is that you find yourself in the driver’s seat, and in that way, you are in control.
But to quote the Internet and Nationwide, life comes at you fast. You try to keep up, but you can’t make yourself move, a terrifying sensation. In your dream, there’s a constant conflict between motion and stillness, action and pause. You cannot find a balance between the two, careening towards two dangerous extremes. Your instincts are correct in that this is a dream that speaks towards the feeling of being out of control of your life, of the fear that comes with it.
Still, there’s another lesson here, one about finding a healthy medium, and it is very important. You cannot be afraid of stillness, just as you cannot be afraid of propelling yourself forward. There will always be time for both, you just have to trust that you will be able to know when it is time for each. I believe that this dream will part from you the more you grow and change, the more that you let yourself remember that you are the one driving, and you are the one who decides where you’ll go.
I hope this helped. I’m sending you a dream, no vehicles involved. In it, there is a beautiful, blooming garden. There are tomatoes and squash and summer fruits. Everything there is yours to taste, but you are more interested in taking it all in. Let me know if you get it.
See you on the other side,
Howdy
Fancy a trip to Dreamland, pardner? Send your best to sadboyhowdy@gmail.com!